


my heart is gold but my hands are cold

by tr-ash (ViscountFox)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Good Sibling Ben Hargreeves, Good Sibling Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Vanya's book, ben and klaus are soft bros, half dead Klaus, klaus has full control of his powers, klaus looks dead, klaus' powers effect his appearance, they love each other a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViscountFox/pseuds/tr-ash
Summary: “Why?” He asked, pleaded, voice little more than a whisper.There was a pause then, a dreadful moment of silence, like the world had sucked in a breath, knowing what was about to happen. Years later, Klaus would remember this moment in vivid detail, sometimes warped by nightmares, but always there.Luther opened his mouth.“Because we don’t want to hang out with a corpse.”
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 82
Kudos: 407





	1. i turned all the mirrors around

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh i don't know where this really came from tbh but i hope you enjoy all this klaus angst
> 
> it's a complete au so I don't know how much it's gonna follow canon but I haven't finished season 2 yet so it's not gonna include anything from there, honestly i don't even know if there's gonna be a chapter 2 lmao
> 
> feel free to ask any questions if you need more context for anything!  
> enjoy:)

It had never been a problem throughout most of their childhood. They’d grown up with him, after all, so they didn’t know any different. Didn’t know that it wasn’t normal, that people weren’t supposed to look like that. At least, not living people.

Klaus himself had never really questioned it before, had never looked in the mirror and thought that the milky white of his eyes, the too-pale shade of his skin, the blue tint of his lips, was any kind of strange. They all looked different, different skin, different eyes, different hair. He had no reason to believe that his differences were, perhaps, _too_ different.

Everything changed when Father finally started sending them on missions.

***

It wasn’t very obvious at first. They were too excited, too nervous, too busy trying to stay alive to really pay attention to all the ordinary people they suddenly found themselves surrounded by on a regular basis. Eventually though, after a number of successful missions, the fear started to wear off and the press were really starting to notice them and suddenly they were famous and people wanted to interview them and know them and there was constantly people _everywhere_ and-

And-

And Klaus, along with his siblings, realised that no one else looked like him. Only the dead bodies they left behind.

***

The change wasn’t immediate. Klaus didn’t even notice at first, too busy trying to master his powers and discovering that hey, boys were pretty cute and skirts felt really nice on his legs when he tried on his sister's in a moment of curiosity. Then one day, during group training, he realised that most of siblings were refusing to look at his face and avoided touching his exposed skin whenever they could. It was weird and made Klaus feel uneasy, hurt when he would skip up to one of his brothers or sisters only for them to look away and worm out of the conversation.

It was weird but Klaus probably would’ve been able to handle it, could’ve probably brought them back around, gotten them used to him again. But then Five went missing.

And everything got worse.

In their grief, their desperation, they begged him to try conjuring Five, just to see, just to know whether he was even still alive. He was ecstatic to have their attention again, so he did what they asked, searching for Five’s soul, trying to pick it out of the thousands of others roaming the realm of the dead. When he came back empty, firm in his belief that Five was still alive, they relaxed and smiled at each other, hopeful.

And then they started ignoring him completely. It would seem his usefulness had come to an end.

It started in group training, then spread to their free time until Klaus was no longer sharing secret smiles over the silent dinner table and being delegated to ‘lookout’ on missions. Even Vanya, the odd one out, the ordinary one, had started to avoid him.

In the space of a month, Klaus had gone from a proud member of the Umbrella Academy to feeling like an outsider, an oddity, in his own family. His siblings didn’t like him, didn’t want him anymore and Klaus didn’t understand why.

Until he did.

***

Klaus had overheard them planning it, hidden round the corner of the doorway as he listened to them discuss their plans for sneaking out for donuts the next evening and Klaus desperately wanted to join them. They hadn’t included him in any of their outings for a while now.  So the next night, Klaus waited till he heard them tiptoeing down the corridor past their bedrooms and threw himself from his bed, scrambling to his door with fervent desperation.

“Guys!” He whisper-shouted, huddled in his doorway, shoes tied and ready to go. They turned at his voice, all huddled together in the dark. Klaus was a little surprised to see Vanya among them.

“C-Can I come too?” They avoided looking at him, staring at the walls or their feet. His chest hurt. 

“I don’t think so, Klaus.” Allison said, voice almost hesitant, quiet. She still wouldn’t look at him. Klaus bit his lip, wrapping his arms around his middle like that could stop him from falling to pieces.

“Why?” He asked, pleaded, voice little more than a whisper.

There was a pause then, a dreadful moment of silence, like the world had sucked in a breath, knowing what was about to happen. Years later, Klaus would remember this moment in vivid detail, sometimes warped by nightmares, but always there.

Luther opened his mouth.

“Because we don’t want to hang out with a corpse.”

***

Klaus tried everything, after that, to get his siblings to like him again. He started wearing his mask anytime he knew he’d have to spend time with his siblings, mainly during group training, to hide the eyes they hated so much. Unfortunately, Father wouldn’t allow it during meal times but it was easy to simply stare at his plate and not look up.

He’d spend hours staring at himself in the mirror, one of Allisons gossip magazines in his hands, comparing himself and hating himself, desperately searching for a way to fix himself. He snuck into Allison’s room to borrow her makeup, hoping that this was it, that he could make himself look normal, but the foundation was the wrong shade and the blush made him look like a clown and the lipstick made his white skin stand out more and he wasn’t allowed out the house to buy his own and Vanya didn’t use makeup and Mom didn’t _need_ to use it and-

And-

And Klaus cried himself asleep that night, makeup smeared down his face and his pillow.

***

He sort of...gave up, after that. Despite his desperation and his attempts to stop it, his siblings drifted away from him and Klaus became the outcast of the family. He was creepy, apparently, with his appearance and his powers. They didn’t want to hang around someone who talked to dead people and looked dead himself, so they mostly ignored him and Klaus didn’t want to scare them, to creep them out, so he did his best to stay away from them. He isolated himself, didn’t want to impose on them with his disgusting body and his disturbing eyes and so he kept to his room, only leaving when Father told him to.

They drifted further and further, leaving him behind and as they got older, Klaus saw the way they wondered about him, how they claimed that he pushed people away, how he was withdrawn and antisocial, that it was just his personality and he let them believe that they weren’t the ones that pushed him away in the first place.

***

Throughout everything, through the isolation and hurt and the sudden realisations, there was one silver lining. The one good thing that Klaus could hold onto.

Ben.

He didn’t treat Klaus like the others did, was the only one who still looked him in the eye, who wasn’t afraid to to talk to him and hold his hand when Klaus needed something solid to keep him grounded. He tried to convince the others too, tried to tell them that they were being mean, that they shouldn’t ignore him, tried to invite him along to secret group outings only to be shut down by the others, tried to be there for Klaus whenever he could.

He _tried_. And that meant everything to Klaus.

When Klaus was upset, when the hurt and rejection got to him, he’d think about Ben, about how he still had Ben at least and how he knew that his brother wouldn’t abandon him like the others had, and Klaus figured that as long as he had Ben on his side, he’d be fine.

***

When they were 17, Ben died.

***

For a week, Klaus was completely alone. He cried for days, inconsolable over the loss of his anchor, his rock, his best friend, the light in his life and he wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now.

He had no one.

Then one day Klaus woke up Ben sitting on his bed, watching him and Klaus cried, his hands glowing blue as he crashed into his brother. Then he laughed because in his grief, he seemed to have forgotten what his powers were.

***

Ben vowed, then and there, to never leave Klaus’ side.

***

With Ben back and permanently stuck to his side, Klaus was content even as the rest of his siblings moped and grieved. He had his own little sanctuary in his bedroom, full of twinkling fairy lights and fun patterned pillows and warm blankets and Ben. In his free time, Klaus would sit on his bed, bundled in blankets as his dead brother read to him, his voice a soothing balm to the whatever hurt he’d been dealt that day.

On one such afternoon, Ben had finished up the chapter they’d been working through and set the book down, the heavy weight of his gaze settling on Klaus’ face.

“What?” Klaus had asked, voice soft in the quiet atmosphere they’d created. Ben had been silent for a moment.

“Why do you wear your mask so much?”

Klaus had lowered his eyes, staring at his lap as nervous fingers picked at the blanket around his shoulders. He hadn’t been expecting the question and wasn’t sure Ben would like the answer.

“My eyes are creepy. The others don’t like them.” He had eventually whispered, embarrassed and ashamed. His chest had bloomed with hurt at the reminder.

“Well then they’re idiots.” Ben had said and Kaus had whipped his face up, staring at Ben’s warm smile with wide eyes.

“W-What?”

Ben had shuffled a little closer on the bed, knocking their knees together and making sure to look Klaus directly in the eyes.

“Your eyes are actually really pretty, especially if you look closely. They’re not just white, there’s streaks of silver through them, like marble. I don’t get how anyone could see them as creepy.”

Klaus had stared, amazed and then tried desperately not to cry.

He had failed.

Ben had laughed at him a little bit.

Klaus had never covered his eyes up again.

***

Ben’s death had seemed to be a breaking point for the rest of his siblings. One by one, they left, off to fulfil their lives as real people, to make their way as adults, until the only living siblings left in the house were Klaus and Luther. Klaus had wanted to follow them, to actually see the outside world, but it was made abundantly clear by both his Father and Luther that that wasn’t a possibility for him. Klaus lived with one foot in the grave, it was how his powers worked and the effects they had on his body were obvious and couldn’t be hidden forever. He would never be able to live a normal life they said, wouldn’t be able to support himself with a job. Luther told him that his appearance would freak people out, that he’d scare them and people would think he was ill or dying. He’d be an inconvenience to the public.

Klaus was tired of being a freak.

So he stayed at the academy, ghosting around the house, part of the furniture, with his dead brother following loyally behind.

***

Dad didn’t send him on missions with Luther. It seemed their Father had come to see the divide between his children, Klaus’ exclusion, the way they all ignored him and had come to the conclusion that Klaus was better off staying at home. Ben said it was because Reginald didn’t want another dead son on his hands. Klaus joked that he was already halfway there.

Klaus was generally left to his own devices. There wasn’t much more training for him to do, having reached the extent of his powers and having mastered them pretty early on so he was told to just practice daily to keep them at their full power. It was pretty easy with Ben around to help. So while Luther was out on missions, Klaus spent time with their Mother in the kitchen, helping her bake cookies or learning how to knit so he could make himself more colourful furnishings for his bedroom.

Klaus loved Grace. She was always warm and comforting and never once, in his entire life, had she ever let his appearance or his powers stop her from loving him, caring for him. Klaus knew, logically, that it was because she was an android, that she wasn’t programmed to care what Klaus looked like. He liked to think that, if she were human, the way she loved him so unconditionally wouldn’t change.

So Klaus spent most of his days reading with his dead brother, creating with his mother, keeping his powers sharp and being ignored by Luther.

It was okay.

***

Klaus was downstairs with his knitting needles, half way through a cushion cover, when Vanya’s book was delivered.

It had been a rather good day so far. He’d had a uninterrupted night of sleep and had woken up to Ben sitting serenely by his bedroom window, quietly singing to himself. He’d teased him for it and then ventured down to the dining room to see Mom had made waffles for breakfast and she’d greeted him with a sweet ‘good morning!’ before leaving to clean the kitchen. Luther had been keeping to his room today so Klaus had settled in the main room downstairs, sinking into the sofa and quietly talking to Ben about the book he’d been reading last night.

He looked up when Reginald walked in, eyes zeroing in on the book in his hand or, specifically, the photo on the cover. His eyes widened as he tracked Reginald’s path to the wall length bookshelf.

“Is that Vanya? Did she write a book?”

Father hummed, opening up the cover and reading something on the first page.

“It would seem so.” He snapped the book closed and then slotted it on the shelf, turning swiftly to leave the room once more. Klaus shared a look with Ben before scrambling off the sofa and snatching the book off the shelf. He curled back up in the corner of the sofa, knitting needles abandoned and stared at the book in his hands. Ben leaned against his side.

“Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven. She wrote about us?” He asked his brother.

“Apparently. Come on, lets read it.” Klause opened the book, ignored Vanya’s handwriting on the front page and started on the first chapter.

By the time he got to the chapter titled ‘Living with Death’, Klaus was feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions. He couldn’t believe Vanya had exposed their lives like this, all their struggles and childhood torment, there for everyone to read and judge. He wasn’t sure what to feel. Ben was silent next to him as they continued on.

**_Living with Death_ **

_ Number Four, Klaus, was an oddity among oddities. As children, before we were exposed to the real world, nothing about Klaus had seemed particularly strange. His power, communicating with the dead, had been a little weird, but only because none of us could possibly understand it and he was quirky, with his penchant for feminine clothing and bright colours but we hadn’t thought anything about him was...wrong. _

_ When we were thirteen, the same year Five went missing, we all seemed to realise that Klaus wasn’t normal. It was the only time I ever felt united with my siblings. It was enlightening, after being exposed to the rest of society. We saw Klaus in a new light and what we saw was terrifying. _

_ There weren’t many photos of Klaus in the magazines and press and his eyes were always covered by a mask in public so it wasn’t often anyone managed to get a proper look at him but behind the mask and the uniform was a boy touched by death in the worst ways. His skin was unnaturally, sickly pale and cold to the touch, his lips a shade too blue and he resembled a corpse more than a thirteen year old boy. His pulse was too slow, faint and at times it seemed like he was barely breathing. His eyes, though, were the worst. Always surrounded by dark, sunken shadows, his eyes, both pupil and iris, were a pure milky white. They looked glazed and blind and meeting his gaze was unsettling. _

_ He resembled death itself and he was terrifying. _

He can’t read any more, can barely see the words through the tears blurring his sight and he lets the book tumble from his limp hands, listening to the thump it makes as it reaches the floor.

They sit in silence for a long time.

***

Klaus doesn’t think Luther remembers he even exists half the time. If he’s not out on a mission, being daddy’s good little soldier, then he’s training and working out. Klaus doesn’t know what he does in his room.

Despite living in the same house and being the only two (living) siblings left at the academy, they barely interact. Klaus has made multiple attempts throughout the years to try and befriend Luther, thinking that with everyone else gone, he might have a chance to break through to him. All he’s gotten for his efforts are forced smiles and shifting eyes, civil words that mean absolutely nothing. Does Luther even still consider him his brother? Or is he just there, existing in the background like a piece of furniture? Klaus has long since given up on Number One.

And then Luther goes on another mission. And almost doesn’t come back.

And suddenly Klaus isn’t the only freak in the house.

He refuses to feel guilty for the thought.

***

Klaus doesn’t know that Luther is on the goddamn moon until after he’s already been gone a month.

He didn’t bother to tell him before he left. Didn’t bother to even say goodbye.

Klaus and Ben have the house mostly to themselves for four years.

***

In March 2019, Klaus is woken up in the middle of night by Pogo’s hairy hand on his arm, gently shaking him awake. He blinks tiredly at the chimp, confused at the early hour.

“Pogo?” He croaks. “Wha’s goin’ on?”

Pogo looks sad.

“It’s your father, dear boy. I’m afraid he’s had a heart attack.” Klaus sits up at that, suddenly wide awake. Pogo pauses, staring at him regretfully. “He’s gone.”

Klaus looks over to Ben, sitting on the foot of his bed, and they share a wide eyed look.

“Oh.”

His father is dead.

Ah, shit. 


	2. i jumped at the slightest of sounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Diego and Five see the light and everyone else is dumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH the response to the first chapter has been pretty incredible and your comments have been amazing! thank u for encouraging me to continue with this, i love u all so much. bet ya'll weren't expecting this chapter so quick though, ey? please enjoy it, i enjoyed writing it
> 
> special thanks to users birbsarethebest!:) and LittleRit for your fabulously insighful and helpful comments, they made my day!

Luther is the first to arrive, naturally, back from his four year vacation on the moon. Klaus only knows because of the heavy footsteps trudging past his closed bedroom door, the way the floorboards creak under his weight. The next to arrive is Allison, her voice echoing down the hall as she talks on the phone. He hasn’t heard her voice anywhere other than the tv screen in 12 years. Ben tells him about Diego’s arrival and they giggle together at their brother’s ridiculous costume. An hour later, Pogo politely knocks on his door to let him know that Vanya is finally here and that they’re all downstairs.

Klaus is nervous.

“Hey, you’ll be fine.” Ben says gently, standing behind him as Klaus stares at himself in the full length mirror. He’s chosen his favourite outfit to give himself some comfort; tight leather pants and an oversized navy blue sweater that used to be Ben’s. Klaus used to steal it all the time when Ben was still alive and after he died, Ben pretty much gave Klaus free reign over his closet. He didn’t have a use for clothes anymore after all and he figured Klaus would always appreciate more outfits.

“It’s just...they haven’t seen me in 12 years. I don’t know how they’ll react.”

“We won’t know until we go down there. Come on, I’ll be with you the entire time and I doubt they’ll stay for very long.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” He takes a deep breath and straightens his stance. “Okay, let's do this.”

Ben smiles at him and he shoves his feet in the fluffy slippers set by his door, as ready as he can be to face his siblings.

***

He can hear their voices by the time he’s reached the end of the staircase, they seem to have congregated in the main room, spread out on the sofa and chairs in front of the fireplace. He lingers under one of the archways, half hiding behind the pillar as he watches them. He’s been keeping up with Allison’s exploits over the years, it’s hard not to when she’s in every magazine and all over tv, so her appearance isn’t a surprise to him. She’s married now, with a little daughter. He wasn’t invited to the wedding. But then, he doesn’t know if anyone else was either. He wonders if anyone has met their niece yet or if Allison doesn’t want them (him) anywhere near her. According to the gossip mags, she’s been having marriage problems lately. He wonders if she’d tell him about it if he asked, if she’d let him try on her fancy designer clothes.

The only time he’s seen Vanya is on the back of her book. Apparently, she’s still keeping up with her violin, plays in an orchestra and everything. The hurt from her book is still fresh and he wonders if she realises how lucky she is, to be able to live such a normal life.

He has no idea what Diego’s been up to, which is a shame because he feels like Diego would live an interesting life. He gathers from the knife harness Diego still carries everywhere and the all black outfit that Number Two fancies himself as some sort of vigilante. Klaus likes that he’s still out there helping people, on his own terms.

Luther hasn’t changed.

He stays there for another minute before taking a shuffling step forward, cringing into himself when four heads whip around to stare at him.

“Klaus? Is that you?” Diego says, sitting up straighter in his seat. Klaus clears his throat and tucks his hands into his sleeves.

“Uh, yeah, hi. Pogo said that everyone was here so I figured, you know, we could talk and stuff.”

“Sure, sure!” Diego shuffles along the couch a bit and then pats the cushion invitingly. “Come sit.” 

Klause gives a strained smile and accepts, quietly sitting himself down next to his brother and placing his fidgeting hands in his lap. They sit in silence.

“This is so awkward.” Ben whispers from his place on arm rest and Klaus has to restraint himself from snorting out loud.

“It’s good to see you again, Klaus.” Allison says from the other side of Diego, leaning forward slightly. Her words are polite but she’s actively trying not to look him in the eye.

“You too, Allison.” He responds civilly. “I-I watched all your movies.”

She looks at him properly then and her smile is a little more genuine, a little warmer.

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm. I like the romantic ones best. You’re really good.”

“Oh. Thank you, Klaus.”

Luther clears his throat before Klaus can respond and everyone's attention is drawn back to where he stands, facing them expectantly.

“With everyone here, there’s some important things we need to discuss.”

“Like what?” Diego asks, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Like the way Dad died.” There’s a pause after Luther’s words and Klaus is glad he’s not the only one looking confused.

“I don’t understand.” Klaus pipes us. “Pogo said it was a heart attack.”

“Yeah, according to the coroners. Look, all I’m saying is that something happened. Last time I spoke to him, he sounded strange, on edge. Said I should be careful who I should trust.”

Diego gives a long sigh, knocking his head against the back of the sofa before looking at Luther again.

“Luther, he was a paranoid, bitter old man who was starting to lose  what was left of his marbles.”

Luther shakes his head, body tense and determination in the set of his brow.

“No. He must have known something was going to happen.” He shifts slightly to look at Klaus. “Look, I need you to summon Dad.”

It takes a second for Klaus to realise Luther is addressing him.

“Um, no?”

“What? Why? Isn’t that your whole thing?” Luther looks vaguely insulted, like Klaus refusing is a slight against him personally.

“Because I don’t want to? And he’s probably not hanging around anyway.” He doesn’t mention that he thinks Luther is being a paranoid, delusional daddy’s boy. After what Dad did to him, what he turned him into, Klaus doesn’t understand how he can be so loyal.

“Klaus, this is important.” Luther is looking angry now and Klaus pushes himself further into the sofa cushions. “Unless there’s a reason you don’t want us to know what really happened.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Diego asks angrily before Klaus has the chance to do the same.

“Look, whoever did this took Dad’s monocle, a worthless monocle, which means it was personal. It was someone close to him, someone with a grudge.” Klaus feels a sense of dread settle in his stomach. He feels sick. “Klaus was the only one of us living here when Dad died.”

Silence.

And then Diego lurches to his feet, body practically vibrating with rage.

“Are you seriously accusing one of us, accusing _Klaus_ , of _murdering_ our father?!”

Luther doesn’t reply and Diego makes a rough sound in his throat. Klaus’ eyes feel hot and he can’t feel his pulse. He feels numb.

“How could you think that?” Vanya says, hurt. It’s the first time Klaus has heard her speak since he arrived.

“No, that’s not-”

“Way to fucking lead, Luther.”

Through Luther’s stuttering excuses, Klaus feels himself stand up, hugging himself around the waist and starts quietly making his way out of the room.

“Klaus, wait, where are you going?”

“I’m just going to murder Mom, be right back.” Ignoring those around him, he reaches the threshold of the room and then breaks into a run, tripping his way up the stairs with tears burning in his eyes until he’s safely up in his room, collapsing onto his bed.

What a fucking family reunion.

***

Fifteen minutes later and there’s a hesitant knock on his door. He quickly wipes his mostly dry eyes and wraps one of his many blankets tighter around him.

“Yeah?” He croaks out, just loud enough to be heard through the door. The door opens and Diego pops his head through the gap.

“Hey.” He says quietly. “I wanted to talk to you, can I come in?” Klaus nods and Diego slips through the open door, closing it behind him. He looks around at Klaus’ room, taking in everything he’s added over the years.

“Cozy.” He nods to himself. “I like it.”

Klaus clears his throat.

“W-What did you wanna talk about?”

Diego lets loose a shaky sigh, like he’s preparing himself, before pointing to a spot on the bed.

“Can I sit?”

Klaus nods and shuffles over a bit so Ben can move to sit beside him. Diego unknowingly takes his place, wiping his hands on his pants before clenching them together in his lap.

“Right. So. I’ve actually been wanting to do this for a while but I kept chickening out, making up excuses. But I’m here now and I’m gonna do this right.” He finally looks up from his hands and makes direct eye contact with Klaus.

“Klaus, I’m sorry.”

Klaus is floored, staring at his brother with wide eyes.

“The way we’ve treated you, the way _I’ve_ treated you, it’s not right. We were so _stupid_ to push you away like we did, for something that didn’t even matter, for something that wasn’t your fault, that you had no control over. We completely ignored you just because you looked a bit different and that was so fucking dumb and _cruel_ and you didn’t deserve it.”

Klaus never thought this would happen and he can tell Ben is equally shocked, sitting quietly beside him and they’re both listening intently, soaking in the words. Diego takes another deep breath.

“And I’m sorry that I abandoned you.” Klaus’ breath stutters, a sharp inhale. “I should have taken you with me when we all left, gotten you out of this house, away from Dad and Luther. My biggest regret is leaving you here and I’m so, _so_ sorry.” Diego’s eyes look a little wet and Klaus can’t say his are much better.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me, Lord knows I don’t deserve it, I’m just asking for another chance. To be the brother I should have always been.”

Klaus throws himself forward and almost sobs when Diego’s arms actually wrap around him, no hesitation. He doesn’t remember the last time he got a hug from someone other than Ben.

“I’d like that.” He whispers in his brother’s shoulder, cheeks wet with tears, and Diego hugs him tighter. He can practically hear Ben grinning at them.

A little while later, after they’ve both calmed down and Klaus has shoved one of his blankets at Diego, Klaus dares to ask a question that’s been on his mind since Diego started talking.

“Can I ask, what made you want to apologise? After all these years?”

Diego is quiet for a moment.

“Vanya’s book. The way she spoke about you, the way she described you, it _disgusted_ me. That we ever saw you that way...it was a horrible realisation. It got me thinking how alone you must have felt, completely ignored by your family. I knew I had to try and make things right.”

Klaus sits quietly, contemplating that. He’s glad he’s not the only one that Vanya’s book affected so deeply.

“You know, I wasn’t alone. Not really.” 

Diego raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’ve got Ben. He’s never left me.”

He laughs quietly as Diego looks around him rapidly, like he’d be able to see his deceased brother if he looks hard enough.

“Ben’s here? You can see him?”

“Of course I can, it’s my thing, remember? He’s been stuck to me ever since he died.”

Diego shakes his head in something akin to disbelief, but there’s fondness in his smile and his eyes are warm when he looks at Klaus.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve got him with you. Ben always was the best of us.”

“He’s pretty great.” Klaus grins as Ben looks away, all embarrassed.

“So, hey-” Diego starts, regaining Klaus’ attention. “I was thinking, after this whole stupid funeral is over, we could go for a coffee? Catch up and stuff.”

“Like, outside?” Klaus asks, uncomfortable and panicky at the thought. He very rarely leaves the house. Diego smiles at him.

“I think it’s about time you started to live outside this house, don’t you?”

And the thing is, Klaus would love to. He wants nothing more than to just be able to go outside and do normal things like everyone else. But…

“I don’t wanna scare people.” He says quietly, hugging his knees to his chest. He doesn’t think he could handle it if it turns out his siblings were right to be scared of him all along.

“Hey.” Diego says sternly, ducking his head to look at this face. “You don’t have to worry about that, okay? Nobodies gonna be scared of you. And if someone dares say something-” He flips one of his knives in the air, catching it with a smirk. “Well, they’ll have me to deal with.”

Klaus can’t help but laugh, feeling giddy and hopeful and like this could actually work.

And then the whole house starts shaking.

***

They rush downstairs, confused and disorientated, gaping at the blue light show happening in the courtyard. They all run outside and in the air above them is a massive blue wormhole and no one has any idea what's happening. There’s wind and noise and blinding light and Klaus is scared.

And then someone falls out of the swirling blue mass, collapsing on the floor with a groan. They look up.

And it’s Five.

“I told you he wasn’t dead.” He comments. No one really hears him.

***

Klaus barely has any time to process the situation before a tiny, thirteen year old Five is barreling towards him, pushing their siblings aside to get to him and then wrapping his scrawny little arms around his waist, almost unbearably tight.

Holy shit, two hugs in one day. Klaus is going for a record.

He hesitantly places his hands on Five’s small shoulders, confused and a little worried. Five had never been much for physical affection and he’d certainly never hugged Klaus before.

“Um, Five?”

“I’m sorry.”  Klaus freezes at the words. He doesn’t really understand what’s happening.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you. It was immature and inhumane and I’m sorry I put you through that.”

Five pulls back to look at him and his face looks so serious but there’s a desperation in his eyes, like he’s begging him to understand.

“I think you’re beautiful, Klaus and I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t.”

This is the third time he’s cried today. People really need to stop coming at him with so many emotions, it’s gonna dehydrate him.

He brings Five back into a crushing hug and whispers a desperate “thank you” into his hair, trying to get his tears back under control.

In the moment, he doesn’t care how uncomfortable Luther, Allison and Vanya look, averting their gazes like they can’t stand seeing someone touching him. He’s gained two brothers back today, he doesn’t need them.

***

After some awkward throat clearing, they all follow Five back into the kitchen. He starts erratically making himself a sandwich whilst telling them that’s he actually been stuck in the future for 45 years so he’s technically 58 and not 13 and then he starts talking about equations and someone called Delores and then he tells Klaus that he likes his slippers, which is nice, and overall it’s pretty confusing and Klaus doesn’t really understand any of it but that’s okay and once he’s baffled everyone sufficiently, Five just...walks out the room. So, typical Five, really.

Honestly, Klaus is still reeling from the three emotional breakdowns he’s had today. He’s not gonna complain about Five being the grumpy little asshole he’s always been. It’s more normal than the hugging anyway.

***

They have a little memorial in the courtyard by Ben’s statue, standing solemn in a little row, nothing but the pitter patter of the rain hitting their umbrellas. Klaus is glad to see Mom out with them. She’s been acting a little weird since Dad died and he’s a little worried.

Pogo comes to stand next to Luther, who’s holding the urn with their father’s ashes. Luther opens the urn when prompted to and practically dumps Reginald’s ashes on the ground, already going clumpy and wet from the rain. They all wince.

“Probably would’ve been better with some wind.”

Pogo says some words, something about debts and legacies, only to be interrupted by Diego calling Dad a monster, a bad person and a worse father and pretty much what everyone sans Luther and Pogo is thinking.

Luther gets mad and then Diego goes on the offensive and then the next minute they’re fighting and Ben’s statue is on the floor, broken.

Klaus goes inside after that. He certainly hasn’t missed _this._

***

A little while later, Klaus is sitting awkwardly in the kitchen with Allison, fiddling with his sleeves and staring at the empty plate in front of him, wishing he hadn’t eaten all the cookies so quickly just for something to do. He’d only stuck around the kitchen in the first place because he knew Mom had been baking yesterday and he figured there’d still be something sweet laying around. He’d been right and he'd settled at the table and then Allison had come in and he hadn’t wanted to be rude so he stayed and the Five had briefly wondered in looking for coffee and then left just as quickly and now Klaus is stuck in this awkward silence.

He’s saved by Diego strolling into the room with his jacket on and a bag slung over his shoulder.

“Yo, Klaus, you ready to go?”

He stares at Diego for a second, confused, before he remembers their earlier conversation.

_ Coffee! _

“Oh! Yes!” He scrambles up from his seat, quickly dropping his empty plate in the sink before making his way around the table to Diego.

“Is what I’m wearing okay?” He asks, spreading his arms out. He doesn’t want to look too out of place.

“For coffee? Yeah, yeah, you’re fine.” 

“Awesome! Let’s get this show on the road!” Diego grins at his enthusiasm and he can’t help but smile back. He’s nervous, sure, but he’s also pretty damn excited.

“Where are you two going?” Comes Allison’s voice and Klaus honestly forgot she was there for a minute.

“I’m taking Klaus out for coffee.” Diego replies almost defensively, likes he’s daring anyone to challenge him. Allison’s eyes flicker over to Klaus before settling back on Diego.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Her eyes flit over to Klaus again as she says it and he hates that even now, with Dad dead, they’re still trying to stop him from even going outside.

“Yes.” Diego says, jaw clenched and hands fisted. “I think it’s a great idea. I think, at the very least, Klaus deserves a few hours outside this goddamn house.”

They stare at each other, tense and Klaus fidgets where he stands, unsure if he should intervene.

Eventually, Allison shrugs and looks away, ending the conversation with a dismissive “Fine”.

And that is that, apparently.

***

Diego drives them to whatever coffee shop he’s got in mind, Klaus sitting in the back seat so he can sit with Ben, and Klaus serenely watches the lights pass outside the windows until they arrive at their destination.

People are looking at them as soon as they walk in and Klaus curls into himself, instinctively trying to hide any part of himself he can. He stays behind Diego, feeling eyes crawl over his skin, watching him and he’s thinking that Allison was right, that this was a bad idea.

But Diego ignores the stares and orders their drinks and by the time they've chosen a table to sit at, Klaus can’t feel the eyes on him anymore. He glances around and, to his amazement, nobodies really paying attention to them, continuing on with their lives.

“Told ya you didn’t need to worry, didn’t I?” Diego smirks at him over his coffee and Klaus sticks his tongue out at him.

They end up staying there for an hour and a half, just talking. Diego tells him about flunking the police academy, about his ex-girlfriend, his vigilante adventures, how angry he was when he read Vanya’s book. Klaus tells him about all the hobbies he’s picked up over the years, about spending time with Mom, about what living with Luther was like and he talks about Ben a lot, despite his dead brother sitting in the empty chair next to him. It’s nice. It’s _really_ nice. The last time he felt this accepted and normal was when Ben told him his eyes were pretty.

They leave as it starts getting darker, bustling back out into the chill of March. Klaus is about to follow Diego back to the car when the lights of the shop next door catch his eye. It’s a hardware store that’s open late and when Klaus see’s that they’ve got a sale on for paint, he remembers that he’s been wanting to paint one of the walls of his bedroom.

“Hey, Diego? Can we go in here for a minute? I want to pick up some paint for my room.” Diego shrugs and ambles over and together they enter the store.

The inside is warm and bright and smells of sawdust. Klaus wonders over to the front counter where he spots a couple of paint cans stacked in a triangle with a sale sign resting against them. He’s inspecting the colors available when a warm voice reaches his ears.

“Hey! Can I help you with anything?”

Klaus looks up, about to reply and-

-the words get stuck in his throat.

There is a man, smiling at him.

There is a beautiful man, curly blonde hair and calm blue eyes, smiling at him.

Oh, _wow_. He’s staring. He’s staring and he hasn’t said anything in a while and the beautiful man is starting to look concerned and Ben is whispering at him to  _ use his goddamn words, say something! _

“Paint!” Klaus practically yells.

“Smooth.” Ben says. Klaus wants to die.

But the man just smiles, all warm and starts chatting about what they’ve got available and the sale they’ve got on right now and Klaus can barely hear him over the sound of his heart stopping and then restarting.

He’s eyes flick down to the man’s name tag.

_ Dave _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A WILD DAVE APPEARS!!! he used Smile! it was super effective!  
> how many of you have seen season 2 and started screaming as soon as klaus saw the hardware store? lmao
> 
> anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! klaus is finally starting to get the love he deserves uwu
> 
> also, i've started writing another au where Diego is a detective and Klaus is a medical examiner with Ben as his ghostly assistant and together they stop the apocalypse just by doing their damn jobs, so maybe keep an eye out for that?
> 
> thank u :)

**Author's Note:**

> so there it is
> 
> if you have any ideas for a chapter 2 or just anything in this au, please share with me! i am but a struggling birb who has no idea what they're doing :c
> 
> i hope you enjoyed it anyway, thank u for reading!


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